BECOME A PARENT

They say it takes a village to raise a child.  Becoming a parent is a big responsibility that also brings great joy.  There are many factors that go into determining whether you are able or willing to parent at this time in your life.  Some of the factors you may consider will include practical matters such as your age, your ability to earn an income to support your child, your mental health, your support network, but also emotional factors such as your goals in life and how raising a child will affect those goals, your dreams for your child, as well as yours and your child’s emotional and physical wellbeing.  In order to parent your child you will need to be able to provide the material things your child needs, such as diapers, food, clothing, but also a loving a nurturing environment for your child to grow in.  If you are feeling concerned about your ability to provide for your child, you can reach out to trusted family and friends and see what kind of support they are able to provide.

 

MAKE AN ADOPTION PLAN

If you are considering an adoption plan, you can speak with a counsellor at Sunrise who will explore all of your options with you.  You will have the opportunity to discuss the potential outcomes of each possible path. You will have a chance to look at profiles of adoptive parents that are waiting for a child. If you decide that making an adoption plan is the best choice for you and your baby, you will be able to review additional information about the families that you feel would be the right fit to raise your baby. You and your counsellor will have the opportunity to meet the family that you select, prior to the baby being born and be able to communicate with them. During this time, you will have a chance to explore the idea of “open adoption” and make a plan that meets your needs.  Your counsellor will help you to make a plan for your birth and hospital stay that is tailored to your needs and wishes.  You can decide when you would like to invite the adoptive parents in to meet the baby, or you can invite them to the birth, if that is what you would like to see happen. You will be in charge of the process.

Some birth parent(s) call Sunrise early on in their pregnancy and they form a relationship with the adoptive parents that they have chosen throughout the pregnancy.  Some birth parent(s) call very close to the time they will deliver.  And other birth parent(s) call once the baby has been born.  We can help you whenever you call, but by calling earlier you can make a plan and feel more relaxed and comfortable during the remainder of your pregnancy, knowing you have a plan in place.

WHAT IF I DON'T MAKE A PLAN ?

 

Many birth parents facing an unintended pregnancy may feel overwhelmed by emotions.

 

Sometimes these big emotions can be so painful, it seems easier to turn away from them and as a result many birth parents feel unable to make a plan for their baby.

 

Upon delivering your baby, if you do not have a plan and are unwilling or unable to parent your child, the hospital social worker will likely call the Ministry for Children and Families or may call an adoption agency like us. By choosing to work with an adoption agency, even at the last minute, you can make a plan for your baby and stay in control of the process. You will have decision making power and the process is completely confidential.

 

You will be able to select the family that will parent your child and have openness.

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ABORTION, ADOPTION OR PARENTING

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Birth parents facing an unplanned pregnancy often have to make some very tough decisions.  For some these can be made more complicated by the nature of the debate between pro-life advocates and women’s choice advocates.  For many birth parents that discussion is just the overlay on top of many other potential crises in their lives at that point.  In addition to an emotional or religious conflict over whether to have an abortion there are other influences that pregnant women can be struggling with, including:

 

1. Family Pressure

Pressures from family, partner, or others to either terminate the pregnancy by abortion, to parent the child, or to place the child for adoption. These pressures can make figuring out what they want to do very challenging.

 

2. Abusive Partnerships

Sometimes birth parent(s) in an abusive relationship may face the choice of either terminating the pregnancy by abortion, placing the child for adoption, or parenting amid a conflicted and abusive relationship, fighting over money, visitation and other issues.

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3. Life Plans

For some birth parents, parenting a child simply does not fit with their life’s plan. It could be because they have just finished high school and intend to get job training or go to college. For others who may already have children, another child is too overwhelming. For those who may already be past the time to terminate the pregnancy, the choice may be to parent or place the child for adoption.

 

What Should Happen?

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Birth parent(s) should make the choice that is right for them and their lives.   The consequences of choosing any of these paths (abortion, placement for adoption or parenting) may have a long-term impact, and the process of coming to the right decision can be challenging.  At Sunrise, our role is to provide counselling so that birth parent(s) can make the right choice for themselves.  The counselling is free and unlimited in time. 

 

Sunrise’s focus is providing resources to birth parent(s) facing difficult and complex choices.  There is no pressure to choose the adoption route or any other. 

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